I seriously think I must be the most egotistical person on earth. I seriously think I have a lot to learn - like from Sangha buddy Morteza. I really think life sucks - truly... truly.
Purpose of life is really to find some way to pursue enlightenement. Right now I am in some sort of Samsaric Hinterlife. Not even close to doing the right thing. I have to talk to Rinpoche.
Maybe I should appreciate it the way it is. 'Cause it means I am burning off bad karma.
This is a really strange sensation: I certainly know that my being is experiencing some sort of serious depression - but at the same time it is not so bad. I can live with it.
That is a new sensation.
I wish, hope and pray that in my next life I will meet Dharma faster, earlier and that I get to be a nun/monk. Serious studies as soon as possible. This is my absolute wish and hope.
Sounds weird, huh - but it is fully logical.
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