Is it not amazing...

.. how quickly Karma or Life puts a break on things?

In the matter of a few weeks - there is a break on my engagement and interaction with my sweet Sangha, a new sincerity with Rinpoche, a break on how intensely I need to help my dad who is now 89, a break on availability of work, a break on - even perhaps Nepal this year.

It almost looks like a thought - a stream, a will.  Karmic consequences playing out in the open field of my life. I am the observer this time, not the one wielding sticks and stones.

AND... no anxiety, folks, I have none. There is plan B and plan C even. And if that does not work - just rest. At the very very root, on the platform of my practice, there is the nice thought: "sigh - another sign of impermanence, well well".  Resting in this impermanence is a tremendous relief.  I do not have to care, just patiently do what I have to do, and go with the flow.

So - something in my HAS happened. Here is the proof. All those "frustrations" (ie. Ngöndro prostrations)  - all those meditation practices, have given me a something to hold on to or rather has helped me to totally let go of holding on.  My reliance on others very diminished, my reliance on "luck" totally lacking.
My reliance on "me - myself - I" negligent.  Nice, very nice. A kind of happiness appears at the center of the chaos.  Eye of the storm - still, magnificent and ready.